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dark brown hair shall i say... [Dec. 24th, 2004|08:18 pm]
[mood |excitedexcited]
[music |nothing...]

and so i have returned to livejournal. and what fun it is... might i add i now have a myspace also. hm... how odd what friends can pressure you in to. jk. well...

so its christmas eve. the last i updated this ole thang was pratically a year ago... WOW. times have changed.

my hair is now brown. i must say i love it. going from blonde to brunette is quick the cleanser. indeed.

i must go. farewell journal for now!
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too much to say. not so much time. [Dec. 22nd, 2003|05:04 pm]
well. me and daniel are "official". yes. official. odd yet nice. weird yet not. i dont know. hm. but i am happy and he is happy and people are happy that we are happy. everyone is just one big happy family.

and winter formal is coming up. i got nominated for court. ha. but did not make it. good times good times. and i got a dress. its cute. i cant believe that just a year ago was when i went with MG to winter. a YEAR ago. it doesnt seem like a year at all. no. not at all.

and christmas is right around the corner. gosh. and i am not the least bit excited. ugh. dont know why. dont know why.


thats all.
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i love my journal more than i love your journal. fool. [Nov. 24th, 2003|08:10 pm]
[mood |tiredtired]
[music |something on the tv. i hate tv.]

so stick that in your back pocket. fool.

yes. i have changed the colors. the look. the feel. i love it. it is still yellow and blue, but all is well, because i like those colors.

hm. what else.

oh! my birthday is in 68 days. yes. 68 days. im stoked.
and winter formal is in... like... 20? 30? and im stoked for that. it will be rockin. if i get asked. haha.

today, jori came over. and we tried on my prom dresses. and we did not fit in them. sad story i tell you. when you cant fit into the dress you wore like 6 months ago. sad.

what else.

thats all for now. im tired. and i want to go to bed.

mmm... that sounds good. going to bed.
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"hey dannel..." said the cutest 2 year old, like a million times, in the back seat. [Nov. 17th, 2003|03:48 pm]
let me just start off by saying wow.


okay. this weekend. was quite the weekend. i will tell you.

my girls from auburn came for taras bday. it was great fun. we had a rockin party saturday night, and i saw daniel. whew.

okay. daniel. what can i say? I AM A LIAR!!!


i all said i didnt have a crush on him in my last entry. well, let me tell you. i do! what is my deal? i have no idea. its like, when im not around him, or when i dont see him for a long time, its really easy to say i dont like him, and that he isnt that great. and then i spend like 2 seconds with him, and im on cloud nine all over again! gosh.

so saturday at the party. aw.

indication of sparks between me and daniel #1 :
we all decided that we want to rent a movie at like 8 o clock at night.. so all like 12 of us head to the two cars we will be traveling in and like every single person BUT myself calls shot gun, and gosh darn, I WANT IT. so im all SHOT GUN! and daniel says "you got in emily" and everyone else freaks out. what a wonderful feeling. lol.

indication of sparks between me and daniel #2:
we return home from the movie. and i have to pee. so i go pee, and i get downstairs and there are 0 spots to sit. so daniel, being the nice boy he is, shares the recliner with me... aw. and let me tell you, it was nice. cuddling and all with daniel.

indication of sparks between me and daniel #3:
he stayed after the party to hot tub with is girls. and sat by me. and it was cute. he is cute.

indication of sparks between me and daniel #4:
during church on sunday, since we went to liberty, daniel was there. and i caught him looking at me like a million times. aw. AW!!!

indication of sparks between me and daniel #5:
sunday night, i call will, because they had this thing for evans bday, and evan is wills bro. so i call wills cell phone, and daniel took it from will and pretended to be will, and i was confused but it was cute, cuz he was like yelling at me to come.

indication of sparks between me and daniel #6:
he was all "need a ride home?" after wills thing.. and so he took me and my sister home. cuteness. and there, his niece, was like "hey dannel... " like a million times and she is super cute. i love her.


i need to stop.

but it just wont go away!!!

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oh. i have much to tell... [Nov. 13th, 2003|05:44 pm]
[mood |excitedexcited]
[music |something on the television. i hate television.]

and i quote:

"well. tonight is bible study. im stoked. its the highlight of my week. not joking. i love it. bible study and the weekends. sleeping in. aw... how nice those words sound. i cannot wait until this week is completed, and i can relax and have fun.. let loose. go to the dance. get wild. be free."

that was from my last entry. and little did i know that will had fooled me into thinking that he was coming to get me for bible study, when really, it was a trick, and daniel was gonna get me. so there i was.. at home... resting. in my pjs.. and the door bell rings, and im all, "oh its just will, who needs to change... will doesnt care..." YEAH! good joke. it was daniel. and to my surprise, bible study was at his house. wow. so i was all excited. woo for emily.

however. daniel. hm. he is nice, i think he is a great guy, lots of potential. but i do not know. could i honestly spend time with him, every day? could i really talk to him on the phone and like, be his girlfriend? i do not think so.

and so i have thought. and thought. haha. well, over a week or twos time. and i have come to the conclusion...
i do not have a crush on daniel.
things have not worked out, and randomly showing up at my house to pick me up = weird. or at least, odd. yeah. so that was the turning point. as crazy as i may sound.. i was not flattered. strange girl i am.

so at about the same time as this decision... (last week.. specifically friday) i say to jori, "hey jor, what are you doing tonight?" and so she says to me, "well... ya know... going to the bowling alley... you should come!" and so she calls later... and BEHOLD.
but plans got changed, and we ended up not going... tear. THEN we go the next day. saturday. late. from like 10 to like almost 1. good fun. good fun.
and i tell you, i had a wonderful evening. and i have not had a wonderful evening like that since... well, a LONG TIME.

and so i say all that to say.

i think i might be developing a crush on ryan. yes. ryan.

which brings me to my next piece of info for whoever to read. WAIT! i cant write this.. the person who isnt suppose to read this, will probably read it. and that would be bad. very bad. so i will just say, the plans i have made for this weekend are exciting and im stoked. but ryan wants to go bowling again, so therefore im like, ugh. but im still excited. but im still like ugh..

but besides my drama with boys and bowling and the weekend and such...

well. there is really nothing else. hm. sad. i have now realized my life revolves around boys, bowling, weekends and such. lol. wow. or at least today it does. hhmm...

i am hungry, and i must go eat before i die.

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okay.. now that i am calm, cool, and collected. phew. [Nov. 4th, 2003|05:22 pm]
[mood |curiouscurious]
[music |the tv...]

well. last week SUCKED. but no one wants to hear me mope about the past, because its over and done.. and i shall move on.

well. tonight is bible study. im stoked. its the highlight of my week. not joking. i love it. bible study and the weekends. sleeping in. aw... how nice those words sound. i cannot wait until this week is completed, and i can relax and have fun.. let loose. go to the dance. get wild. be free.

yes. the dance. i didnt even know of a dance until will told me. i guess im going to the dance. ill make jori go with me. or will. or better yet... daniel. or ryan?

yes. i said ryan.
not ryan sparano - joris boyfriend - ryan
not ryan mandel - the boy who works at albertsons who my mother thinks is kind - ryan
not ryan hicks - the one who is good friends with gary - ryan
not ryan vasbinder - ryan
not ryan risor - my good ole friend from church - ryan
no. not those ryans.
ryan self - ryan.
yes. ryan self. he dressed cute. he has pretty eyes. he is sweet. however, i do not know him AT ALL. well. lies. all lies. i know him. just not well. hes like, a friend of a friend who i talk to in the halls occasionally. jori says he thinks im cute. i say i think hes cute. and jori says we need to stop beating around the bush. there is no bush. there is no beating. there is no anything. its odd. jori. odd. but hes cool, and i should get to know him, just because, first impressions are usually accurate, and my first impression of him is a good one. hmm.

then there is still daniel. hm. we didnt go see a movie. he didnt go to youth group when i did. we go to different churches. i hardly know him. kelsey still totally digs him. ugh. drama. will says he likes me. whatever to that. i dont even care. because i hear like a million different stories from like a million different people. which makes me mad to begin with, because unless all those people read this, how do they know? because i told will and jori. thats all! GR.

will. oh that boy.

i think thats all.

for now.
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slaps in the face. [Oct. 29th, 2003|09:03 pm]
slap in the face number 1 -
i was talking to toni. my good friend from liberty. because i went there tonight to
A) see daniel
B) help them with their halloween thing..
c) just to catch up with some kids...
anyway, so we started talking about daniel. and she told me he likes this other girl, named emily. hm? what a small world. emily vs. emily. so i was like, oh no maybe he thinks im the other emily and really he wants to go to the movies with her. UGH. because i talked to him online. so now im upset about that.

slap in the face 2 -
JORI told me that she couldnt go to youth group with me tonight because she had too much homework and didnt want to be out late before her birthday. so i get home, and call her, and her mother says to me "i thought jori went to youth group with you.. " and i being all confused said "what? no, i went to liberty bible.. she told me she couldnt come because she had to be home at 7:15" BULL CRAP SHE DIDNT HAVE TO BE HOME AT 7:15!!! UGH. thanks jori. thanks. i feel good.

slap in the face 3 -


i could hurt something. really. AH

slap in the face 4 -
thank you tara for taking my business and sharing it with other people. you know, you have just stooped to the next level of annoying, and low. thank you. it is much appreciated.


lord, help me get it together...
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yo yo yo [Oct. 29th, 2003|03:01 pm]
[mood |hopefulhopeful]
[music |fresh prince of belaire]


today, i woke up on time, but i was running late? i dont get it. and i forgot a jacket. it rained. i walk over to the middle school to TA. not fun. but all was well, because these nice gals from my class gave me a ride back to school. my school. it was kind.

i dont know. i promised daniel i would go to liberty with him. and jori said she would come with me. however, tonight at lb, they are getting ready for their childrens halloween thing. and. jori SAYS she has tons of homework. and she doesnt want to stay up late? or something. whatever. so. i need to call daniel. because if he doesnt even go to lb, then i dont want to go. not fun w/o him.. and maybe (?) if he wasnt going to go, he could come to hillcrest? i dunno.

and i talked to nate about the whole switching youth groups thing. from what he said, i KIND OF got the impression he personally thinks i should stay at hillcrest. i dont know. this is a big decision. i cannot handle it. but god can. hm. so... pray i must.

what else.

oh yes. i talked to my good friend will. about the whole, hey does daniel dig this chick from his school because if so, i dont want to get in the way and/or get hurt.. and/or waste time. and will hasnt even heard of such a girl! yes. he went to homecoming with someone, but will said daniel hasnt ever mentioned her as anything other than a homecoming date. hm. whatever.

and. another daniel dilema. i feel bad. because everytime he wants to me go to lb, or anywhere else, it either gets canceled, or i cannot go because i already made plans. and the stupid person i am, told daniel i would go to the movies with him, but its joris bday. so what shall i do? i do not know. explain? i suppose. hm.

last night at bible study. it was awesome. we talked about a lot. me nate and will. i love that. knowing i could talk to nate about anything even though im not one of the kids in that youth group. he is so super. he is so much more understanding than... well. i will not compare. thats not right. but i just love talking to him. its nice. its like talking to will, but.. different. i dont know. its like talking to a kid, a peer, a friend. not an adult. not a superior. or a guardian. hmm...

and there is this person. who annoys me very bad. like, i could strangle them sometimes! and they dont get that. they think im just being weird? but im not. UGH. annoying. and if youre reading this... do not fret, its like a 1% chance its you. and if it is you reading this. the odds are against you! haha! too bad for you! lol.

no one is online. ugh.
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oh the memories [Oct. 24th, 2003|03:46 pm]
[mood |suddenly sad...]
[music |the television]

so i just read all the entries i have even written. wow. i usto cuss so much. what was my deal? i do not know. but i dont cuss now, thank god. what is the purpose of profanity? no. there isnt one. hm.

and last night. daniel got online. wow. we talked for a while. he asked me to go to the movies with him today. scary movie 3. and i really want to go. but cannot. because of the fall retreat. he told me to just skip. oh, how i would kind of like to. but i cannot. and so he said what about next saturday. and i said okay. and at the time, the excitement of a possible opening to a new relationship blinded my memory. joris bday party is on saturday.
kncock knock
whos there
emily who
emily wasnt thinking when she said she would go with daniel on saturday.
but. i have a thought. i will simply ask daniel if he wants to go to the party? hm. yes. it is at my house. that way, we can still see each other.. hm.

so i leave for the trip, fall retreat, in like, an hour or so. im excitement for the enrichment part, and the time spent just focusing on god. however, i am not looking forward to the one certain annoying person bugging me all weekend part. yes. it will not be fun. but maybe, hopefully, the lord will bless me with some sort of way to deal with her. mmm...

what else. jori thinks me and will are going to get married. why? i do not know. maybe because we are? JK. only joking. wow. but so does my sister. and so does my mother. it is all very confusing, because quite frankly, i wouldnt mind that... but then there is daniel... aw...

i think i am going to leave now. and go put on some real clothes, because i am in my pjs. and i am freezing.



sadness has overcome me. :(

someone: oh hey guess what i found out....
me: what
someone: **** told me she talked to daniel last night.....
someone: i guess he likes the girl he went to homecoming with and he might ask her out
me: oh..

aw man. i am not excited now.. hm. lol. i am the biggest drama queen ever! oh, good times..
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today was quite the day. [Oct. 21st, 2003|04:46 pm]
[mood |excitedexcited]
[music |the lawn mower]

i have come to realize that
a) the last month has been CRAZY.
first of all, my grandpa randomly dies. then my aunt and uncle move. then my dad gets a butt load of money and moves into an apartment. i started the 40 days of purpose... what else. i dunno. but for real. this month has been crazy!!!
b) boys are retarded. and a waste of time. why put all my energy and everything into a guy who i most likely wont even be spending my life with? ya know... gr. theyre confusing, theyre immature, its just a bunch of nonsense waiting to blow over and hurt my heart.
c) certain people are very fake. WHY CANT EVERYONE JUST BE THEIRSELF! GRRRRR

thats all.
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